Feel overdressed wearing a suit
to a nice restaurant
Know at least eight people who
work for companies that manufacture computer parts, airplanes or athletic
shoes
Can tell the difference between
Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, and Thai food
Returned from a California vacation
depressed because "all the grass was dead."
Know the vast difference between
SBC, Torrefazone, Coffee People and Starbucks.
Take a half day every July 1 to
find your sunglasses and sunscreen.
Remember the date, severity, time
of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power and phone service
for every winter weather event in the last five years
Feel guilty for days after throwing
an aluminum can in the trash instead of recycling it.
Get very, very happy when the
early morning weather forecast includes the terms "sun breaks."
Say pop instead of coke or soda.
Are able to use 10 words to order a
beverage the rest of the country calls "coffee."
Have ever called your insurance
agent to ask if your homeowner's policy covers falling trees, flooding,
or mud slides or if the number of your favorite roofing company is on your
"Speed-Dial" list.
Never go camping without waterproof
matches, ponchos, and mattress pads that double as flotation devices.
Know more people who own boats
than air conditioners.
Moved to the Northwest because
you read that the two most popular hobbies are fishing and reading.
Since arriving you've taken up
fly fishing and learned to tie flies by reading a book.
Consider that if it doesn't have
snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of elevation, it is
a "hill" and not a "mountain."
Complain about Californians until
the day you sell your house to one for twice what you paid for it.
Don't complain about Californians
because you're secretly married to one or are dating one.
Personally know someone from Alaska.
Find a wallet with $500. in it,
return it all to the owner and refuse a reward.
Know the difference between Chinook,
Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
Wave at people who drive trucks
or land cruisers like yours. Basically, you just drive down the road waving.
Can point in the direction of
two or more volcanoes even though you can't see them through the clouds.
Think downtown is "scary" because
you were panhandled there once.
Go to work and return home in
the dark in the winter, even though you only have an eight hour work day.
Find that when the weather gets
above 60 degrees, you replace your hiking boots with Birkenstock or Teva
sandals.
Believe people who use umbrellas
are wimps, Californians, or both.
Are sitting at a downtown red
light. The light turns green and the car in front of you does not
move. You do not honk. After two more light changes, you approach the driver
to ask if he needs any assistance.
